Rage it off!!!

I was overestimate myself,
I thought I could easily forget as I want to,
too bad I can't..
The circumstance was lot different with the previous...
I thought without binding I could live happier instead,
it wasn't... It just pushed me to another end of the cliff.
I realized how scary and how unsafe I am,
Yet tell me what should I do?
The more I think, the more I'm afraid of the truth,
the more I predict, the more hurt I gain from the result.

You're just being too selfish,
you could avoid by stop thinking about the problems,
if things remain bring no harm to you anyway..
you just never think of people beside you!
the person in your eye is human,
but the people beside you aren't human??!
you care about one person's feeling but you ignored the other feeling!
I know you like to test people around you,
I didn't tell doesn't mean I don't know it at all..
You were even testing me as well at the first place!
Perhaps I'm too noob to know what's your intention,
perhaps you think it's the best for everyone of us,
but it is just what you THINK! not me!
Yes, after all it's all my fault for being like this,
but because of this, bugged me for few days by thinking what should I do!
You made me feel that I'm just a doll!
Or perhaps I was wrong to put too much of my emotions inside,
Should I say the existence of me just to be a companion?
and your existence just to be a meat shield?
I thought I could wait until the day,
but too bad I just impatient to voice-out whatever I think off!
Will you endanger me to be the goat?
Could I trust you??

Sigh, why my life is so “interesting"?
thing just doesn't change and keep repeating the same..
I don't want to be like this anymore...
Please give me strength to allow me encounter all the fears and tears, My god!