Saturday, February 20, 2010

搞不懂


突然间好想用华语写写,当然也有一定的理由啦^^.

新年第七天了,今天是人日哦,也是大家的生日,你快乐吗?前两天与中学的同学们见面,除了样子改变之外,好像没什么改变了;最终我期待看到的几个,只有一个到 =‘(。 几年后见面,我对他们的印象还是一样,不必多解释吧?!哈哈

最近的我觉得很烦恼、无奈和没有安全感,可能因为他们的出现吧?我很讨厌被隐瞒,如果要隐瞒我的话,请你要小心别被我发现马脚嘛!当我发现马脚时,我真的会对你很失望之余,除了保持沉默,我真的不懂应该有什么表情。我讨厌失望的感觉,我更讨厌被欺骗哦。。。

我很难会忘了你的存在,可也很难忘你给我的失望;就连你也不知道我发现了你一直以来不让我知道的事实吧?在那里,我有那个可爱的家伙让我暂时忘了你;在这里,我惟有让网游麻醉自己吧?我以为我喜欢了你,可是当我发现真相时,我却没什么意外;只觉得原来我的观察能力和分解能力好不错。原来我对你不是喜欢,只是好奇和兴趣。因为从来没有那么奇怪的人在我身边出现过吧~
失望是因为我没想到你也和那些家伙一样,天下乌鸦一般黑的。。 


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The truth revealed


The things that I search for long time, finally got it. Some people just hate to know something that they think it may hurt their feeling, they tend to avoid knowing the real facts. Some people just too stupid that he or she will trying to find the truth with their best effort even they know that it may bring harm to them. Well, I'm the stupid one then. Guess what, google helps, you know? 

I hate suspecting anyone and anything, but if I find something that attracted my attention, I'll investigate it with my best. Finally today, the truths were reveal one by one. I just have to admit that I'm too good in doing this kind of stupid things, include matching facts and searching for the evidences. Whole afternoon was searching for it and I successfully break the doubt and question marks on my brain which live at my brain for months. 

I don't understand one thing actually, why do the guys always like to flirt even they're in relationship with a girl? Is that fun to do so? Whatever it is... The things that I found today probably will lead me to another cross road. Shall I remain who I am or I just have to change my attitude and behavior? 

Tonight the dinner was awesome, I like the dishes there but was too full >.<'' It's been long for us sitting together having dinner there. Thanks for the night, friends. 

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Complicated Feeling...


Second day of Chinese New Year, filled with different type of emotion and feeling over the whole day. It was really different compare to last year, at least... some facts changed. Not to say it's bad but somehow I feel tan without them...

Early Morning, I was going to temple in order to complete the tasks given. That task is to pray and donate nine red packets to beggars. The praying part was running smooth but the donation part was annoyed. The packets should be given to the old folks but those useless young beggars were keep asking for it. However, I really wonder do I look fierce or scary? Because once I was going to settle up the unpredicted situation, they were slowing down their "attack" and still asking me for the money but with a different manner *softer and nervous from what I saw*. 20 cents settle them off and they ran once I gave it to them. Funny lol...

We were visited my relatives at noon. I feel awkward, because now that I realize I got so many cousins. I met some before but the other are strangers to me. Perhaps my mum's family is too big until I can't even recognize some of their face. However, I get to know some new... I feel shame, because one of my relative, they sold the new born babies away as they can't afford the expenses. I was like :"wth is that". I really don't understand! If you know that you cant afford to do so, why you bring the babies over? Banana gatal kah? Never mind, Ignore it since it's nothing to do with me... 

Some relatives visit us at afternoon too. However, this is the sad part of the day. My dad's side relatives, unwelcome guest to me. They are suck and no manners at all, seriously hating them when coming to my house. They are treat my house as their house, come in sit like noobs and when come to lunch or dinner, they just sit n eat without doing anything. Treating my mum as your maid? Dirtied my house and leave without greeting, even they are older but I don't think that's a good idea for me to respect them. I even hating them deeply in my heart. Just F*** off. 

Luckily my friend was coming and accompany for the whole day. Headache with the noobs and the questions. I was annoyed with the question about "him". Hey, I'm having crystal clear relationship with him ok?! We're just friend, nothing more than that~_~'' Don't ever mentioned him again please? Even my mum and dad were asking the same thing... DUI!...

Night time, I had my dinner at McD. The traffic jam is terrible, I'm stuck there for half and hour. Oh dear~_~! But I feel happy too... Able to grab one photo with the view of Kek Lok Si temple. Plan to going there when we all free to do so^_^. Of course, I'm happy that for years, you're still the same... I really appreciate that I have a friend like you~ mr. seafood... XD


(Night View of Kek Lok Si Temple)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

What Should I do?

How much do "trust" cost?
it's too costly to me...
The costs are disappointment and hurt
Why? Just why?
I never ask friends that how well do they trust me,
I never being ask by friends that how well I place the trust on them...
Reasons?
I wouldn't ask because I don't know when I will hurt their feeling
I don't know whether my temper will influence their perception...
I'm too scared placing trust to them too...

Whenever I start placing my trust on someone,
their attitude and behavior turned me down...
Is it I'm too picky?
Is it my expectations are putting too high?
it's hurt... really pain to experience the disappointment...

I tend not to placing trust on newcomers of my life's journey,
I'll be wearing mask to cover up myself..
I hate being hurt by them...
I'm too tired to figure who are the right person to put trust on
I'll do a shortcut... ignore it...
Avoid being warm-hearted,
I don't want to trust people anymore='(.... 

Friday, February 5, 2010

爱上你好吗?

害怕要面对将来临的风雨,
因为我真的很累了;
明知道是一场必败无疑的战争,
好不容易逃避了、放弃了,
一旦听闻你们的消息,
心里有种说不出的酸痛。

你的出现,
让我渐渐遗忘了那场无谓的过去;
你奇怪的想法,
让我深感兴趣。
从来没有人第一句话就会对我说那句话呢!
而等待每天傍晚的呼叫,
看看你的面子书,
几乎成为了我的习惯。。
我又再次染毒了~
一天你不理会我时,
我会不习惯吗?

我不是爱上了他,
而是我从来没遇过这样的人类,
只是兴趣?
而我对他而言,
也是个特殊的人类=。=‘’
爱上他好吗?
会受伤吗?
不懂哦。。。

不想想了,
我满意现在的生活了~ ^^