The Preview of 2009

Year 2009 gonna end soon...

By writing this, I'm just trying to remember things that happened in this whole year...

- get to know new friends from work that can always ask for "yam cha"

- able to care someone(after the 2 years of struggling in pain) and even fallen in love with him

- funny confession on Valentine Days but rejected 

- quit Cabal

- three of my friend left us and went to another world

- quit the job

- start University life

- start my life at Kampar

- get to know new friends at university + housemates

- quit IvaliceRO

- IvaliceRO broke down

- sad and a disappointment of 21st birthday

- relationship between me and my family getting worst

- fully gave up in loving that person ^_^

- able to identify the bad motive at the same household

- Able to get rid from those idiot but still on-the-way handling it

- had fun on meeting old friends on those gathering

- had most memorable days on CNY of 2009

- met back my comrades like cicak, etc etc...

*hmm, what I remember just these few things only @_@'' memories fading.. old already ;P..

For the coming 2010, I hope everything will be fine and everyone will be alright...

Wish lists:-

~ must be hardworking and don't always skip class >.<

~ hoping my results will be better

~ hopefully everyone around me will be at the best condition and always cheer with happiness

~ hopefully daddy will be as leng cai as ever XD

~ hopefully I won't be alone again on those main event/festivals and my birthday =)

~ hopefully I'm able to meet my Mr. Right XD

Happiness

Previously...

I always thought,

happiness just a close distance away from us...

I always being told,

wanted to be happy is "piece of cake"...

I usually believe,

smile is the starter of happiness...

Things that been thought, told and believe

always different with the reality..

The truths are always cruel,

Happiness,

sew by hundred piece of sadness,

create from thousand of disappointment;

just the phrase "no pain, no gain"

therefore,

if there aren't sadness around,

happiness is empty and meaningless...

I always thought they're an idol couple,

however, the truth showing the ugliness again...

Once you wake up into reality,

once you drugged into the sea of "materialistic",

love will be nothing but a dream...

Just for Jerks

Having peaceful life now,

since the things I cared no longer there.

The feeling faded and the tears dried,

just like the sand blowed by the wind..

The changes now are just nice,

they're something I waiting for...

Or rather,

The changes that happened on me,myself!

For the past,

I care a lot for the messages...

I care much about him in reality...

but in the same time,

I care another him in virtual world...

Thank god for giving chance for me,

let him appeared in my life...

I learned don't simply trust anyone,

I learned to control my temper in a certain condition,

I learned to forget and forgive...

I'm not a mighty human,

I learned to forget because you're sucks,

I learned to forgive because you're nothing to me;

just like the passenger that gonna leave the coach...

Even your great confession,

it seem disgusted to me...

Save the sweet words,

don't be afraid that I will ignore you now

because you're in the chess board ;)

Although I can't remember what had you done to me,

I still remember the feeling of hurt and pain...

I'm not alone =)

22/12,23/12/09... I think these two days would be unforgettable days for me. 

For 22/12, I think this is the first time for me to meet those secondary school best friends after Chinese New Year, am I right? Although one person unable to make it, we still carry on. I'm glad that after few years, we're still able to contact each other, even we are apart from each other... I enjoy the moment we chat, I was shock about what I've heard, and I appreciate the dinner we had together... 

For 23/12, gathering for primary school... 4 of us~ Went to Red Box, sing like no tomorrow... Gathering for the event of exchange Xmas presents. Because of someone's mistake, we have to prepare 3 presents instead of 1. LOL, but I enjoy the process we exchange the presents and photo taking session. 

3 primary school's best friends, 3 secondary school's best friends, 3 college's best friends... I know I'm not alone... Even though I have to challenge the hardship at home or Kampar, I'm happy ^_^... Together with them, I doesn't need to act nor wearing a fake mask, as in front of them, I doesn't need to hide anything. Just laugh as I want or cry as I please... 3 person would be best friend to me every stage, so I wonder who will be next for my university life... No boyfriend so what?! nothing wrong with it... Yes I envy them with their bf, but I would never jealous... Because what I have, they maybe don't have it...

Few things I learn within this few days:

- Never trust someone easily, especially guys who you believe he is a junkie or jerk

- Always put high priority on yourself before other (but of cos must be rational one)

Just Another Disappointment I found...

It was luckily enough for me not posting anything related to my daily life's incidents. Because I think the things I wanna share here are something I would like to remember or it's something worth for me to jot down. However, I just have to do it today... Because I had enough with it. Just why the same problem keep occur whenever I was trying to start a new life or start walking to the new path??

I really thought everything will be fine since the past will remain as past tense and the upcoming one is something I awaiting. Why suddenly I feel disappointed when seeing those relevant things that I clicked? crap! That's why I said it earlier, I really tired for everything. I don't want to hope and dream anymore... Because the hope I wishing for always turn me down, the dreams I awaiting for are always became nightmares. 

Please go away if you've been owned, I doesn't need any mercy or care from you all... It bugs me a lot when I already put my care on you yet find out you're not belong with me... Give your care to your flower and not me... 

是逗号好是句号？

短短的五十多天

换来好多“感觉”

~失望~

因为天真的我认为

好心会有好报

谁知我的好心变成别人的外套

需要时被对着包哮

不需要时就被扔掉

爽不爽就对我一闹、二跳、三上吊

悲哀~

~无奈~

路遥知马力

才七个月的路程

就看到笨了还想恐吓我的马儿们

是我萝卜喂的不够？

还是屁股发痒要我抓？

不过我可不是会买账的马夫哦~

不乖的马儿，

是和要被淘汰的垃圾没两样，

都是废物~！

至于马儿的想法和行为，

马夫才懒得理会呢！

~高兴~

因为生命中出现了许多新人物，

也把一些过客的脚印擦清洁了；

毕竟要留的泪水，

被炎热的天气蒸发了。

过去的生活，

开始显示得有变化了；

至少心里的石头，

终于放下了。

~期待~

接下来的舞步，

是祸还是福？

未知之数。。。

会继续发亮还时结束？

更难算出~

《结论》

始终我最大的弱点--克服不到

我最讨厌的东西--还解决不了

发现到的是--以前的弱点回来了

没变化的事--还是那么爱分析和估计

新的感觉--有异种人出现

Just Another Pieces to be memories

10th december 2009

Because I was so boring and feel like eating something sweet like MCD ice cream, I went down to Ipoh for it. Sound ridiculous but most of my friends know that I willing to do it just for the ice cream... XD..

After back to Kampar, my housemate asked me for a walk at the lakeside garden. It's my 2nd time going to the lakeside but it was my 1st time going in to the garden. I like the place so much, peaceful and just nice to walk after swallowing books. 

Scene view along the lakeside

peaceful place~

I know I shouldn't say this, but while I was walking along the lakeside... It reminds me of the 1st time I went there... with him. The days which never come back once again. However, it's nice since it is just something for me to remember. Consider it as the last present he gave for my brave decision leaving penang?

I ♥ 爸爸

对我而言，

这个世界上，

对我最好的人；

最疼爱我的人，

非您莫属了

从小到大，

那些坏人们的不公平，

让我从小就不再相信大人！

包括那个生我的女人！

因为他们的存在

使我的童年画上许多的黑点和无奈

虽然你不常在我身边

可是我不曾怪您。

反而有您在我心里

是我在这二十多年来的冬天里的一丝温暖

您为了这个家庭

付出血汗也无埋怨

是您教会我忍耐

是您在我无辜被打时为我涂药

我知道您最疼的是我

而我也时常做出让您失望的事

很抱歉

我真的无法原谅那个女人

不是我狠心、只是没那么大量

不过我还是会叫她“妈”

怎样说她也是生下我的人。

谢谢您对我的一切付出

我之所以活着

为了报答您

如果上天给我一个愿望

我愿意折自己二十年的福

来添加你的夀

我爱您！爸爸=D