Turning back to the starter point

I never thought that

I would have days

which I can kiss goodbye to the raining days

that ever fall in the part of my heart

I feel the sweet sun and

I realized my tears were dried..

I'm able to taste the breeze 

that I never thought 

I will ever have such a mood to do it

I can't the word "start"

but I think the suitable word should be 

"I already get used with it"...

The hurts and pain brought by him

no longer around in my heart

I was free

I am free

just like a ship on the middle of the ocean

trying to find a proper landing place...

I wasn't desperate for it

I am not rushing for it

I'll let it be as the way it should be...

I like the memories

that he gave to me

but I prefer a better one

from someone else now

sticking with the old memories

isn't my style after all

People said "Impossible is nothing"

but what I think was

"Co-incidence is nothing too"

I'm looking forward

for things that happening soon

Of course I can't sure what's next

but I am sure that I'm tough enough

to get through them...

Just don't look down on me

Just place some trusts on me..

that's all

兜兜转转还是你

写这篇文章

送给特别的你

这几年以来

你就像是那阵阵的彩虹雨

在我最伤心时

给我心里一丝温暖

我们可能成为了过去

可是一直以来

我心中的你还是一样

原来对你我还是没变

虽然我曾以为我真的爱上了

一个突然出现在我生命里的过客

可是最终我发现

我误解了自己

那份对他的爱

只是因为逃避现实

却陷入另一个陷阱

还好没太深~

我可以没有“我们”的你

只要你快乐

今天你的笑容好灿烂

可又有点害羞

我会记得它

那个不是常常可以看见的笑容

你的魅力不赖

不用得到你

可你的一个短短的讯息

一个简单的问候

足以让我开心好几天哦

谢谢你=）

怕与无奈

曾经为了逃避

我给自己好多理由

不想拥有一对明亮的眼睛

不想看清楚这世界的残酷的一面

我坚持不戴眼镜

我眼睛的度速在医学上算浅了

可是我就看不到别人的脸孔

也无法看清楚身边的一切

所以我不太在意别人对我的看法

因为我看不见他们的眼光

也不太希望看得太清楚

我也习惯了这样的生活

最近面对某些事情

我想我不应该再逃避了

我不想活在梦里

我是时候醒来了

戴上那副黑白的眼镜

看清楚了身边的一切

耳朵也变灵活了不少呢

我真的看到了原本就存在的真相

那个我不想看到和面对的

我无奈

因为我不习惯现在的我

看得太清楚让我觉得害怕

也非常没有安全感

而为了adapt我自己在那个残酷的现实

我也好像不再认识现在的我了

好像变成另一个Lavy

不过我会慢慢适应

因为现在的我

不是以前那个软弱、热情、笨蛋的我了

无论如何

只要我不再为那个家伙掉泪

即使重生也愿意

I'm successful in accomplishing what I was aiming to...

I was on holiday for 3 weeks. I was being challenged by my friends that I would be able to avoid and trying not to meet someone. Well, I did meet him within the three weeks but it's only for business purpose. Nothing personal =)

I managed to give up within 3 weeks. I wrote this so that I could remember, I'm capable to accomplish any goals if I want to... Thanks for those who advised me all the time. I finally did it... I did experienced very bad and sad conditions in few months because of the stupid reason. I finally awake from dream. Cheer =)

Hopefully the power of rose quartz will be blossom and take care everything left... of cause, I'm learning to be tough and back to the status "cold-hearted"... <3

I missed the "me" in the past

From the moment I decided,

to stay away and to forget

the love and care's feeling toward you...

I know I have to do it

for the sake for you and myself

I know I might be forget

the feeling I had

the "me" in the past

The days that I was in loved with you,

was like holding a rose;

wanted to see the nice petals, 

but in the same time

pair of my hands bleed...

the thorns hurt me badly...

I thought you may show me

something that could replace

the pain that I carried

However you never did it once..

There's no way for me

to be like the previous one

smiling because of your cares

laughing because of your jokes

happy because of your existence

sad because of your ignorance

cried because of seeing you in sad condition...

I really miss that

the time where we spend together,

share our secret and joking with each other;

I do miss the day

where I figure out those ways,

in order to know everything about you...

where I did it successfully...

I did get something I don't hope to see,

but the truth and reality

were like holding needles and stabbed behind me...

I miss the pain brought by you.

However I couldn't feel it now

My immune system is getting stronger now

My brain can't work well in remembering

all the memories you gave..

I forget the feeling

just like the wind blow off the dust on window

Hopefully with this piece of note

I could remember a single piece of the memories you brought to me...

宁愿对食物有心，也不要对人有情

对于许多人

尤其是老人家而言

黑色，是不吉祥的代表

红色，象征如意

那如果古时候

某个有名望的人

当时指着是红色

说它是不吉祥的颜色的话

那今日的黑色就没那么可怜了吧？

你们是否想过

世界上的时间有哪一个是真的准时？

你说你的准

我说我的准

公说公有理

婆说婆有理

有谁能保证自己的时间最准？

在感情世界里

常常会听到这些

说自己不可以没有了某人

不然的话就一闹、二跳、三上吊
那有没有想过

你出世来这个世界时

不也是一个人吗？（别说x胞胎）

你晚年归土时

不也一个人睡那个“六块板”？

何必要执著呢？

我坦诚我喜欢黑色

我不会去理会别人对它的看法

而我也不是

勇于表达自己的人

还好那个背了有十个月的包袱

我已经放下了

不再爱了

现在的我

像是海中浮游着的

何时才能靠岸啊~

想起一句很久以前

一位朋友说的话

“宁愿对食物有心，也不要对人有情”

我并非对爱情绝望

只是还在期待新的一个包袱

能让我背的开心的那个

岁月不留人

偶尔想想

原来我已经活了二十年

今日的我

不再是回忆里那个小孩了

相信星星碰到月亮会“丁”一声不见了的想法

好像离我好远了

小时候的我

常常看见一些大人们的忧愁

但却一直告诉自己

我还小，不必面对那些事

我也常常认为

大人们为什么那么无能，那么软弱

不是搞自杀就是闹无奈

曾觉得很可笑

今日的我

明白到人生无常这个道理

自己长大了

要面对那时候

曾告诉自己不必理会的那些困境

我了解了

原来长大好可怕哦

自杀有时真的是最好的解脱

不过这是对不起自己

浪费父母的“米”的想法

在被压力压得快喘不过气的时候

我偶尔喜欢

在我生活添加一些幼稚

在补上一些天真

毕竟回味童年的感觉

也是一个放松心情

而带给身边人一些欢笑的方法

Friendship

You and I have been together
For a long time
Trying our best to keep our friendship
alive and glowing 

I was there for you
trying my best to do everythings for u
hoping that happiness will be always with you
and help chase your loneliness away
Yet are you doing the same things to me?

True friends are like diamonds
seldom and rare..
caring each other, remembering each other
every second and day
not matter happy or sad

Good friends deserve respects and more
as good friends are our treasure trove
I envy those who get their blossom friends
and here I hope that
You will hold their hands
and step forward to face the bloody world

I'll be staying behind
and waiting the true friend of mine appear
to follow the step that you've started

Endless ...

对不起，我不是笨

“见人说话三分真”

是一位朋友教会我的

大概那时的我

给他的感觉是单纯和无知吧

那时的我没否认呢

可是就因为这个词

改变和创造和今日的我

虽然总是希望

我有那个能力去影响和改变

这个冷血和残酷的社会中的人

可是为了保护自己

也为了事实的真相

我只好把自己伪装成

什么都不知道的大笨蛋

很多时候

觉得委屈了自己，好傻

本来懂的东西要装不懂

本来会的东西要装不会

可是我告诉自己

这会是我在这个社会的“保命符”

我还是我

心软又怕被伤害的我

后悔和失望的伤

仍然在隐隐作痛

然而我看见了

那个我以为我熟悉和信任的人

竟是一个我觉得陌生的人

“落井下石

幸灾乐祸

笑里藏刀”

我装不知道装无知的当儿

哪怕会有一天

你也会这样对我呢

我之所以要当笨蛋

只是想看你的真面目而已

你太让我失望了~~！

Now that he's gone..

I used to love the night without the moon

But it seems lonely tonight

Even though I love the rain

I feel it's cold today...

I saw the rose sways out there

with a fallen flower petal

I'm holding it

like the broken pieces of my wish

just to decorate a dream and sleep

I know I would never return to those days...

Seeing the time covering the surface of my memory

I looked up the sky

searching for you in my mind

I wonder how long it would take

letting the tears turn into strength?

Screaming at the wind

Yelling at my dream

"I want to see you~!"

"I want to hold you~!"

Yet they won't reach you

I can't tell you either

The dream was too far anyway

But I am still holding it

Just like the rose

Although knowing that it will die and be scattered

It still lives on full of elegant and vitality

I know there's no turning back

and the moon I saw

was just the shadow on the surface of the lake

I loved you

but it won't reach you once again

because you're no longer here

in my heart...

Memories~

Passing by the place

where both of us were there before...

I saw the scene similar like us,

two of them sitting at the same seats

with joy and fun,

I couldn't identify whether they're couple or friends;

somehow similar like us too...

Driving across the road we took,

remind me about the day we had before..

I didn't know to appreciate it that time,

because I was trying to cover

the truth away from you.

I was afraid that

it will turn us down.

Having the ala carte 

which you like them the most...

I know the chances for us

having them together again

is like a mission impossible..

I'd lie

to cover everything

It goes according my hope

but in the same time

I lose the chance to be with you

because I know you're not belong to me

I smell the breeze we took before

I feel the things we tried before

I see the stuff we did before

I remember every single incidents we passed before

I'm about to quit

being in love with you

The hurt and pain I suffered

will be the payment for the lie I create

to cheat everyone' eyes

and cover the real fact - I have been loving you...

Hopefully it will change into - I loved you before...

《公平？》

“公平”这两个字

从小就离我很远

几乎只是用来装饰和安慰人们吧？

从我知道我的生日和我哥哥一样时，

我的字典就没有这两个字的存在了。

小时候的生日，

都是我一年里最讨厌过的一天；

那些三姑六婆表表堂堂，

只会带一份礼物  送给哥哥的。

一句“他是男的，是长子，应该给他”；

蛋糕也只有哥哥吹蜡烛的份罢了，

最令我失望的是连妈妈也一样。

还好有一个疼我的爸爸~ 

两个人一样生日

对我来说不是一件好事呢

可是即使不一样

我在家里的待遇也不会好到哪里

“重男轻女”这四个字永远离不开我的家族

所以今日的我

都对家务事漠不关心

只希望爸爸开开心心

出了社会

认识了不少人

也看见了人最丑陋的一面

原来在公事上

会有公平的话真是见鬼咯

人际关系呢？

我对人家好

只要他们开口

我会尽力做到给他们的

我不要求些什么

只希望大家会尊重我

不会不公平的对待我

好心换回来的是一滩水

一滩汗水 Sweat too much, you know?

暗恋了人，

好喜欢他却不可以告诉他

以为和他建立了一段不错的友谊

却无意发现让自己心碎的一切

我不如别人

我不是比不起别人

只是时间让我输了

背上“不公平”背包的我

问了自己好多次：“为什么？”

这次也换来一滩水

是一滩泪水 Tears~

无奈 啊 埋怨

可能自己没有那个命

和那个挂在法庭上的秤无缘

还是自己太轻了

在秤上的我永远是高起来的一方

想来真是头上一股气

生气 Anger!

不过我还是抱着那个（有一点点不可能的）希望

希望我的决定没有错

忍耐是我应该学习的课

Relax~ i think...

Sweat + Tears + Anger + Relax = STAR 

STAR = 公平

公平就像星星一样

好美丽   好有希望似的

可是别忘了

我们是无法碰到星星的

公平也一样

只能看决碰不到~

不要老是渴望公平和平等

不然星星见不到

反而见到猩猩就好笑咯

<你不属于我>

《你不属于我》

望着你的背影

是多么的熟悉

每天的我  都会想念 

那个眼里只有别个女生的你

每天的我  都会祈祷

祈求你都平安如意

忙碌中的你

那一丝的笑容

多么的纯真

更是我黑暗世界里的一线光明

可是得到那笑容的代价

竟是我的悲伤

因为你不属于我的

你的责备  是我的安慰

你的认真  是我的动力

你的困扰  是我的烦恼

但我的一切只是你身旁的一阵微风

你的关心只是纯粹随口而出

却是我永远最珍惜的在乎

我晓得她是你的唯一

我明白你不会有属于我的机会

但我相信我付出的  不会比她少

我得到的

是从那不明的巧合中

所留下来的好奇

是你傻  不了解我对你的情谊

还是你刻意装傻

这一切都不重要了

因为保持沉默是我的特色

爱你  使我拥有最美丽的伤痕

爱过你  是我选择在渺茫中画上一个句号

一个只是属于我的句号

Welcome to My new Blog

Well, first of all.. Welcome to my new blog. This is not my first blog though, I create this blog just to express my feelings through these poems and passages that I wrote myself.  It will be in both english or mandarin. I want make this blog different from my previous one. Hope you enjoy when surfing here... Cheer=)

欢迎来到这个我新设的部落格，这个不是我第一个部落格了；这个部落格是我在生活里找到的灵感，就想把它们记录在这儿了。我希望这部落格和我以往的会带来不同的感觉~ Enjoy ^_^