不懂

慌张，

再次寻找不到平衡点，

到底是对是错自己不晓得，

是祸是福，还需要时间证明。

无助，

看不见未来，

根本无法推测和预算到，

是自己不想去深透了解和分析，

还是自己没有能力这样做，不懂了。

十二点的短讯，

几乎激醒了我还有一条没被切断的线。

真的要咩？？？烦~

原来我悲观的想法，今天又多了一个同伴，

又再次证明，没有永恒的爱，

只有永恒的谎言和虚伪。

可能我也是一样的，

没有爱别人的资格和勇气，

当初我埋怨和讥笑你，

原来我才了解到你的想法。

最终和我一起的不会是我喜爱的人，

这一点我很清楚，

所以我不应该拥有对自己的任何期望。

学习把自己的情绪慢慢凝固起来，

是必备的，何时完全掌控到，我也不懂得哦。

不一样的机会

能用口说出来的东西，

对于我是不太能相信的东西，

比起这个，我会比较相信我的眼睛和脑袋。

虽然如此，

我依然抱着一丝的希望，

就是不会让我看见失望。

这希望可能很渺茫，

因为它处于绝望的边缘，

但是我想我也有一定的胜算。

无论别人说些什么，

我还是相信我眼里的你，

我相信你的人格，相信你的直觉等等。

请不要破坏我的相信，

也不要误会我的用意；

原来要克服别人的眼光，

无论重复了几次，

也是很难办得到不让别人影响的思想。

我想上天会给我这个考验，

是想看见我的想法的不同和变化，

当然我也不会辜负妹子的期望；

我想今天不幸中的大幸是您的保佑吧？

我会尽量不乱发脾气了，

无论如何，

还是要祝您生日快乐，希望您听见^^

过去

一张被Tag的照片，
勾起了很多回忆。
当然，我有时贸然的想起了你，
我生平中第一个认的妹妹，
一个比我还要成熟的妹妹。
一年三个月十四天，
虽然被生活的忙碌埋没了你，
但是偶尔还是想起你了。

好想念以前的人和物，
虽然是有点抽象化，
我记得那时的我还挺开心的。
更开心的是原来在大家心里，
都储存着我们大家一起共同拥有过的回忆。
过回现实的生活的几年里，
还真的会有很多预想不到的东西，
也有很多应该和别人学习的东西。
我可真的很努力学习着呢！
我想大家也是，
只不过我惨一点，
好像灵魂离开了现实4年；
所以要学会人家懂了而自己不懂的一切。

我会不断得提醒自己，
无论如何，能给我依靠的也只有我自己。
我不会让自己输给那些费才的挂名亲戚.
绝对不可以认输！！！

D 1

I'm back today...
Somehow I feel strange.
I just away for a couple of weeks;
I felt like I had been away for months.
I wasn't able to adjust my mind in-time,
in order to fit back to the way I'm when I was in my land...
I thought I might pleased to meet the tomato guy,
I'm not though...
This is the first time, in my life,
pay a visit to a doctor without have to pay...
Big joke of the year for me,
good news is that I can save my money,
bad news is nothing cured me...

The same question I asked for years,
insufficient answer nor evidence to prove I was right.
If you hate me, why did you find me?
If you love me, why did you leave me?
Yeah, I'm still sticking with my own wordings,
"Get used is a big crap, because after u lose the crap then you will suffer like a crab"

No matter what's all this about,
the only thing that brought back the real me is still the same,
my food!!!!!!!
My hana-maki and lovely soy ice cream...
Woohoo.. they were just too awesome~^_^
Lastly, I <3 internet~~~

Messages for No one but a warning!

Sometimes I don't really understand,

I just can't control my own temper when facing few of you.

Why I have to apologize when I don't think I'm the one doing wrong?

The moment you start to insult me,

you have no authority to ask a sorry from me.

I mentioned this n-times already,

this is my thinking and my perception.

Even though I'm living in my own world,

if you can't take it, why must you force yourself to find me?

Aren't I asked you to stay away from me?

I'll bite if anyone trying get near to me, you know? =)

I start disliking myself,

for being influence by my feeling and emotion easily.

I did lots of mistakes and keep repeating it again and again.

I blame myself for having such noobing phobia,

unable to be alone is most embarrassing one.

Why I just can't get rid of it??!

I hate to be alone,

But it is burdening the people besides me...

Please, don't accompany me because of responsibility or compliments.

Do it with your willingness or leave it if you're not.

If you're the one who having such comments like I'm too self-centralization, or I'm too selfish. Please reflect your mind back to your own.

As if you're the one who doing this all the time until I'm sick with it.

I always try my best not to commit any mistakes but not this one.

If you want a girl who is obedient and always think bout your feeling,

next door please...

现实的悲剧

在梦里的我，是多么的开心和幸福，

我知道这是一场梦，是美梦吧。

我真的很希望这个梦可以维持到更久，

但是梦既是梦，终有一天，我会醒来的。

不知从何时起，我变得如此的贪心，

我希望我永远都醒不来，

我曾经说拥有过就够了，可是我现在却反悔了。

还真是一个没用的人呢！

就算怎样，我还是得面对真实的世界了吧？

我真的不敢想象以后那个不再是单身的我，

谁说宁愿的最小人都别得罪女人？

男人就不可恶吗？不可怕吗？

对自己的伴侣说有对爱她，对她自死不渝，

可是最后就躺在别人的床上了？

牵着我的手，口说着爱我的，

然后就睡在别个女人的床上了，

什么身体需要？心里依然是最爱我？

如果出卖和背叛了女朋友，还虚假的对她好，

没有一个女生接受得到吧？

如果不爱了，就放她走吧，何必因为责任感而伤害三个人的感情呢？

不管是生理还是心理，

想过拥有别朵花就是不对！

男人啊，还真的可怕，

我果然还是无法走出阴影，

女人啊，要有坚强的心，

别笨到对一个男人痴心绝对，

爱真的那么伟大吗？

我看不见，听不到。

有时候，单身真好，

暧昧也不错，至少没有责任的存在，

没有相爱的证据，要散就散，

散了就忘了，不好吗？

我不是对爱没有信心，

而是对现在的男生没有信心吧。

在埋怨着别人对自己有没有“百分百”的信任时，

不如问问自己有没有给到“百分百”的相信。

Tearless and Fearless

Never thought that I would have to deal with the same thing after years.
Is God wants to see my changes?
I really think it's a good opportunity for me,
to see my difference after one and the half years.

Honestly,
I'm being numb with it.
nothing hard and special anymore to me.
I'm quite curious to know what's the difference I can make too^^...

Although the same things, situations, incidents were similar,
I believe I can grab this chance to prove it to myself that I'd changed.
One and the half year ago and now,
I did change.. a lot..
I learned when to give up,
I learned not to get used to anything
And I learn to erase the "disappointment" word away from my mind...

A little hope here is
I'm awaiting a "cute mammal" come to find me as he has promised only =)..

=）

Can't help but I just feel something again...
Hmm, practically it's not relevant to me,
but since I noticed it, just speak it out.
If you think you're capable enough to keep everything yourself,
I don't think you're tough enough.
I can't really sure what's happening but my sense tell me there's something there...
Of course I won't force people to voice out anything,
but I have a pair of good ears... I believe I have...
If you choose to hide everything behind your mask,
you may do it as you pleased...
When you'd tired to wear it,
please take it down and have a rest...
You're just a human, fragile and mortal one...
Friends is there to support you,
don't ever think you're a burden to them,
you'll make them sad if you think that way...

I'm not sure whether my sense was correct this time, but as usual... I hate to have strong sense and sharp observations or even accurate predictions...

Battle's On

In order to beat You up,
I swear I would do all I can to win this round,
I would try and sacrifice anything just to gain victory.
Even I have to abandon all my feelings,
or I would have to forget all the sensation and emotion,
I'll do it for the sake of victory...

Disappointment arises when hope ended,
Sadness ends when you stop being happy,
love ends when you stop crying,
Hurt ends when you stop believing...
If "sweet" word doesn't appear, "bitter" will be nothing...
That's all the truths of human life.
Everything will start from zero, end with zero too...
I'm on my way, learning to be numb and nothing.
Love nor hate shall be nothing onward,
happy or sad should be erase from my life...
This is the only way I can win one.. with my pride...

Untitled

Remember what is the main intention,
not to forget what is the purpose,
Please wake up...
Enough for the crap and dream..

Swearing please...
the word, next, will be disappear forever...

其实我也很幸福~

有时候，我想要的东西，
并非是很难，
因为家人做不到的，朋友们都做得到，
友谊之上，恋人未满的给不到，朋友们一样做到。

出门时，有朋友的陪伴，
生病时有朋友的关怀，
食物吃不完有朋友包办，水喝不完有水桶包办，
看电影有人家准备冷衣，
紧急时朋友们都会拔刀相助。
有时觉得我很幸福，
大概上天还是对我公平的吧。
虽然有血缘关系的，是挂羊头卖狗肉的，
存在的意义所在只是花瓶的角色和烦恼的根源，
还好我有一个疼爱我的爸爸，和一些好朋友^_^

不过，
如果你觉得你的讽刺是出于关心，
我不懂得欣赏啦，
如果因为妒忌而用利用别人伤害我，
我已经麻木了；
请不要把陪伴我或和我聊天当成是一个责任，
那个不是朋友的责任，毕竟我们还是朋友。
请不要把我当成后备，没人理会才找我的，
我会回复讯息只是因为不理会或不回复是一个很没礼貌的行为。

没有所谓的男朋友的存在，我一样可以活得很好，
因为当我发现朋友给到的而你却给不到时，我会对你无比的失望。
我要的不是刻骨铭心的爱情，
不需要长久，只要有意义，曾经拥有就足够了。
不是因为我喜新忘旧，而是因为永崔不朽的爱情只能在童话故事里找得到；
我学会了一种爱，叫做放手。